求翻译：我真的不想要这样的生活，一开始我以为我可以的，但是渐渐的发现我好想逃，内心是多么的痛苦，但是我又摆脱不了，我该怎么办难道我要一直这样生活下去吗？是什么意思？

I really do not want this life, at first I thought I could, but gradually I found good to escape, how the heart is painful, but I could not escape, how can I do Do I have to live it that way ?

I really do not want to live like this, I began I thought I could, but gradually found out that I really wanted to escape the heart, How painful, but I was unable to break away from, what do I do if I want to do live?

I really do not want such life, from the very beginning I think I to be possible, but gradually discovered I good want to run away, the innermost feelings are the how pain, but I could not get rid, how should I manage me to have to live continuously like this get down?

I really don't want this life, at first I thought I could, but gradually found out that I really want to escape, my heart is so miserable, but I can't get rid of, what should I do I want to keep living this way down?

I really don't want this life, at first I thought I could, but gradually found out that I really want to escape, my heart is so miserable, but I can't get rid of, what should I do I want to keep living this way down?