求翻译：我很矛盾。。有时候也很烦的，因为不知道自己的方向在哪里。。。很迷茫，，很难过的，因为家里的情况是很不好的。。我这辈子要是i一直处于一个没钱花的状态那怎么报答我的父母呢！！！！是什么意思？

I am very contradictory. . Sometimes annoying, because they do not know where the direction. . . Very confused, very sad, because the home is very good. . If my life i have been in a state that how to spend money to repay my parents too! ! ! !

I am very contradictory. . Sometimes I do a lot of trouble, for they do not know where their own direction. . . very confused, and very sad for the family, because the situation is very bad. . I have this life I want to be a lack of money has always been in a state of Flowers So how could you repay