求翻译：你知道吗？莲。在送你上车之前，我心情很不好。很不想你走。。我知道我不能留你，我想留个好印象给你，那时候心理的痛楚。而脸上还要带着开朗的笑容，你知道那感觉有多痛苦吗？？是什么意思？

Do you know? Lotus. Give before you get on, I'm in a bad mood. A don't want you to go in.. I know I can't leave you, I'd like to leave a good impression for you, then mental pain. And also with a cheerful smile on his face, how much do you know that feeling pain??