求翻译：About this , I really don't konw how to say . I can only say that I am tired ,really tired . Till now ,I have seen several girls ,but no one can make my heart beat except HER .I knew her on the jiayuan net .She is very beautiful that I can't help loving her, but , but, her many ideas are very different from mine. These make me unhappy , even make me pain . In the last weeks ,we had many same things to talk ,I was glad ,but ,one night ,she suddenly told me that she was not a virgin , and ask me if I mind. shit! This word make me creay . I konw I can't accept this fact ,I really can't accept this kind of thing , however ,I feel that I have loven her much ,what can I do? I don't konw ,I don't konw . For this thing ,I feel sad for a lot of days ,I don't know how to go on with her in the future .With our talking these days ,I found that she and I were really not to fit .But ,but ,I feel that I can't give her up .This is my real sense. She also says that we are not the friends in the same way .Tonight , I smoke heavily ,I want make up my mind to settle this thing ,however ,it is too hard to do . What a pain thing ! At last , we have the same idea : let nature take its course。是什么意思？

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