求翻译：我好恨我自己.也好难过.之后你说我变了.我知道变了.感觉不对了.我害怕了.不敢爱.我怕只剩下我了.我记得和你爸爸通电话时我好兴奋好紧张！那是第一次和家长通话.有一点不好.就是对我印象不好.不知是在第几天.我听到你和别人通话.听到.都怨你.你不说我爸妈怎么会知道.我知道你在怪她.我知道你在说我.我也才知道原来我那么讨厌.是什么意思？

I hate myself. sad. you said that I had changed after. I knew had changed. feel right now. I fear. can't love. only I left I'm afraid. I remember when you and your dad on the phone I'm so nervous excitement! It is the first phone with parental. have a little bad. is a bad impression on me. day wondering. I hear you speak to someone else. hear. blame you. How could you not say my parents know. I know you blame her. I know what you're saying I. I also realized I so hate.